So with all the things I've been up to lately, there have been lots of pictures added to Facebook.  I wanted to share some of them, and also compare them to older shots.
Here's me and my friend Kyle years ago at a post-camp party - summer 06, maybe?

 

 

 

Hey Loves,

So I'm currently sitting at the airport in Toronto. I was up at 6am, supposed to fly out at 9 to get to NYC at 12 and home in VT by 2... But alas, the best laid plans... NYC is having bad weather so they canceled my first flight, so now I'm stuck here for a while, I have a flight to DC in an hour or so, then a two hour layover there, and then finally home to VT. It's frustrating because I got up so early - if I had known I'd have missed my class then I would have planned to leave later, etc. Today's class is my US in the 60s class, and I've been doing so well and haven't missed a class. I know it's far from catastrophic, but it's just so frustrating. How many times can a girl say frustrating, right? Haha. I'm a serious planner though, and even though to others my life can seem chaotic and messy, my plans really serve to relax my anxiety, so this is all a bit rough on me.

I've decided to make the best of the day while I can - I have my laptop, a lot of my homework can be found online, I have essays to write etc. But much more importantly, a blog to keep up with. Priorities, right?

I worked out a bit while I was at home, but not nearly as much or as hard as I do at PhiT and I'm looking forward to getting back into it tomorrow, hopefully Julie will be nice to me since it's my birthday! I'm down 0.8lbs according to my Toronto scale this week, but I have a feeling it may weigh slightly higher than my Stowe scale, so fingers crossed I can see 198.something tomorrow morning. I understand it - I mean I had lots of special meals and occasions between the summer camp reunion, my Toronto birthday party etc, so I'm seeing any loss as a major bonus.

I'm gonna post some more pics, and maybe the beginnings on some bday reflections - after all it's already my bday in Australia, right Cara?

xox
Angie

Hi loves!

I'm going to be so exhausted tomorrow - I have to be up at 6am which is in oh, just under 4 hours. AWESOME.

Anyways, I'm wired for unimportant reasons, and thought I'd share two things -

1) I am an idiot who weighs herself at night, I know, idiot, but I did tonight and it was 199.6. I've been hovering around 199-200 all week, which is fine, but one goal I set for my bday was to be in one-derland morning noon and night, and it seems I am!

2) Kate Harding is the best in the world and you all need to read this now!

Hi guys,

I'm home in Toronto again, for another weekend. Had a good day today - went to the clinic and got another fill... I'm trying to remember, I think this is my sixth. I should have asked. It was with a nurse who when I saw in the past I found the fill really hurt, but this time was super easy, probably because my port is really easy to find, I can feel it right now in just one moment!

She just added .1ccs -I'm really lucky that I don't pay for fills, so I can do these little tweaks - I really feel like I need the tiniest amount now to get me back to where I was. I ate mushys all day, then tonight for dinner had a crab cake with lots of sauce all mushed up and some mashed potatoes - yum. I love crab cakes. Definitely feel like I have some restriction, my parents and their guests ate a crab cake as an app, and then a piece of salmon, salad, potatoes etc. I was full off of like a quarter of their meal.

But then Steph came over and I made her bring Cheetos. And I ate a lot of them. Washed down with Diet Coke. I am baaaad. Bad girl Angie.

Hopefully the scale is nice to me in the morning - but since I wasn't so nice to myself tonight, I have a feeling it might not be!

Eek, well tomorrow's a new day, I'll try my best to do my best.

xox
ange

Cause everyone loves pictures!

My Stowe Bestie, Shana and me

Shana, me, and Becca. I don't know what Becca's doing.


I love this one! Shana and me and our friend Andrea. She's one of my bestest friends in the world - she was my supervisor at the spa desk for my first eight months there, and then moved to NYC with her now fiancee Ross.



Here's me and Rossy!

Clearly entirely sober!

xox

I have been having a good week. I went to visit the college (Champlain College) I am hoping to transfer to for next semester and really liked it, and got positive feedback from my admissions counselor that has me feeling pretty hopeful. I also got a perfect 100% on my latest History test, and that sure does feel great. Know what feels not so great though? GUILT.

Specifically, guilt after eating. One would argue I should feel guilty about the actual bad choices I make - like drinking alcohol, but for some reason that really doesn't bother me at all. But lately I often feel guilty about making perfectly normal food choices. Sure I could be healthier, I could be eating nothing but lean proteins and salads, and maybe I should start, because right now, I find myself feeling quite guilty a lot of the time.

I feel like I have no right to complain that I haven't seen one-derland since Monday, and that I'm floating at 200.2 again because I haven't been perfect this week. What I need to remind myself of however, is that I'm still eating way less than I was before, and that with the portion limitations the band enforces, my calories are still super low!

I wonder if anyone else feels these feelings of guilt and self-doubt when surrounded by so many food choices?

xox
angie

To those who can't watch the video right away.... thank you thank you thank you for your kind comments and support, you've been a huge part of my success. Love you!

I'll write more later, I'm running out to run a million errands and then to class... But just had to share!

Hey everybody,

Writing you from a very good place. I've had a super duper fun weekend with two of my closest friends who used to live here visiting from NYC. They were doing lots of wedding planning, as they're getting married here in Stowe in June. While they were doing all sorts of planning yesterday I worked.

I actually got really great news - I was nominated for our employee of the month award at the hotel. It is peer nominated, and management chooses as monthly winner from about five nominees. I am so excited to be nominated, it's my first time after working there for about 18 months total. The really exciting and special part is it is called the "Jack Cummings Award," named for my grandfather who started the hotel. It would be so very special to win. I find out on Tuesday afternoon, so I'll keep you all in the loop.

I came in at 200.8 today when I woke up, and considering all the partying I've been doing, I'm happy. I've managed to keep my eating really under control whilst my partying is out of it, and to me, that's good enough. I don't often party really hard, and I just had SO much fun last night. I feel so sassy and confident these days, it's a great feeling.

I'm off to finish up some homework, do an hour of cardio, and then go to work to get a massage which my boss is comping for me, because she's been changing my schedule on me so much lately. I'll take it for a massage!

xoxox
ange

I know I said I was really nervous about one-derland, but I'm ready now. I appreciate the 0.2lbs you've had me lose in the past few days, and I really feel like I'm ready to see a number starting with a 1. I don't want to put too much pressure on you... But let's try by Tuesday. Because really. Shouldn't I be able to pee out 0.3lbs?!

xox
angie

So as I mentioned earlier, it's that t.o.t.m. for me, and this is often a time where weight my body has been holding on to starts to drop off. I had like no appetite today, and was super busy, and so I just couldn't help but weigh myself just now when I got home from play rehearsals. And the scale read 201.4. HOLY SHIT. I am slow, and for a moment thought I was only .5lbs away, instead of 1.5lbs away from one-derland, which really freaked me out haha. But still, only 1.5 pounds to go until my weight starts with a one. Shouldn't I be excited... Not terrified?

Because I am TOTALLY FREAKED. Like freaked. Like nervous to get on the scale tomorrow morning. It might not be tomorrow, it may not happen for another week or so, but that number is coming, and I just expected something - maybe to feel different? More ready somehow? I sort of feel like I should feel like less of a fat girl by now. I got tons of awesome feedback at the wedding this weekend about how great I look, but looking at the pictures, sure I see some skinny legs, but I still see a fat girl attached to them. I'm not at goal yet, I'm still technically obese still, so maybe I just need to get further to stop seeing that, but maybe I need to try to look at myself with new eyes.

Alright, two essays to write, one dialogue to memorize, and 5 pages of math homework... Enough procrastinating Angie!

xox
a


EDIT: WOKE UP THIS MORNING - 200.4

Hey Everyone,

I am procrastinating right now - I have my second history quiz of the semester this afternoon, and I really want another A, so I should be studying, but I had to come say hi!

Weight is up a bit this morning, but my monthly visitor only just finally arrived this morning, so I'm not remotely bothered. It'll go back down. It's so strange though - I'm off the pill, and my cycle has just gotten so long - 35 days, which I guess is in the realm of normal, but still looong!

So this morning I revisited statcounter. When I first started blogging I was obsessed with knowing how many people were reading, was so so excited when I got just one comment, etc. I still care, it's just more relaxed now. But I went to look out of boredom, and it was wild to see the world map of all my visitors!

You can see Roo right in the Middle in Dubai there!


I can't get over the density of everyone here in North America! New followers say hi, I'd love to get to know you!

xox
Ange

There aren't a ton of pics online yet, but here are a few of us getting ready, freeeezing during the ceremony, and then a couple from the dinner. yes, I'm wearing a hoodie, what of it!

Hey Everyone,

Finally on the end side of an insanely long (and fun) weekend of wedding fun. I was a bridesmaid (again) for my cousin Ari and his wife Lindsay's wedding. It was beautiful - though freezing, and I loved getting to spend time with all my family - even helping Linds go to the bathroom in her completely enormous pouffy dress.

I tried to do my best at every step, and though I'm sure my weight will be up tomorrow morning when I can get a fair reading on it, hopefully it won't be by much. I just weighed myself now, but I've already got two meals and a hangover on me, as I slept at the hotel last night, so I can't judge/choose not to believe that I really weight 203.8 again.

I managed to not drink much, and I can't say that was easy. My family is full of big party-ers, it's just how we roll. I didn't drink at all on Saturday which was the rehearsal dinner and out of towner's cocktail party, just a half a glass of champagne with the wedding party. Last night I had four drinks from like 4pm to midnight, not so bad. I also ate way less, though I did have a DELICIOUS slider at the end of the evening, which I would honestly say was worth a 1.4lb gain.

Hope everyone's doing great - it seems everyone is, congrats on your goals met and victories achieved, on and off the scale.

xox

202.2

2.5 lbs till one-derland!!

I'm mad busy these days! I had a ton of schoolwork due this week, a couple of dates, and now my fam is in town for yet another wedding! I'll try to keep you guys updated - hopefully with some new pics, and some good number news!!


xoxox
angie

My friend just tagged this pic of me - I'm wearing the scarf to protect my straightened hair. I thought it was kind of a fun body pic tho!

xox

The hard work is paying off once again - I am down to 203.0 today!

At work and it's kinda crazy, so I can't blog more... But thanks for all the support people!

xo

Hi Guys,

Sorry I've been a bad little blogger lately. Life has been happening, and what's better than that. This weekend I saw one of my favourite musicians in concert, had an AMAZING night out and flirted with too many boys, got stood up on a first onself line dating date (I clearly dodged a bullet there.) My weight's been kicking steadily at 205.8, morning noon and night, though I'm down a lb today. I don't get it, but I know my calories are mostly within range and I'm exercising, so I'm trying to keep up hope for the one-derland by birthday goal.

I do feel like I could use a bit of a fill, but it's so hard to tell, it changes so much. I'm at a coffee shop in town, procrastinating instead of writing a paper, and I got myself a latte and a bowl of tomato soup for lunch (I know I know, where's my protein/solids/etc. I'm bad.) And I ate one little not well-chewed oyster cracker, and I do believe I'm a little stuck. ON SOUP. ON SOUP PEOPLE. WTF.

I am due for my monthly gift (pffft) on Wednesday, or there abouts, so I figure maybe some of the new found restriction - and stall can be blamed on that. What I keep reminding myself of is this - the scale said 204.8 this morning. 204- then it'll be 203, 202, 201, 200, 199. That is unbelievably close!

To everyone who responded to the cousin thing, especially Catherine who's anger made me realize how effed up the situation is, I have decided she is on probation. The moment I hear anything negative, whether through her or the rumour mill, I am opening up a can of whoop-ass. She is thirty years old, not fifteen, and needs to behave as such. Having said that, other parts of her are super supportive... Ugh so confusing, this family thing!

xoxox
ange