A reflection on my 23rd year...



So yesterday was my 24th Birthday, and it was epicly good, possibly my best since my 19th, which is Canadian for 21.  It was just so much fun - started with a good hard personal training session, continued with some classes, some vino with friends, an amazing dinner out, a couple people over after... Definitely good times!

I really have to reflect on this past year.  One year ago today I probably could not have felt more lost or hopeless.  I was living in Toronto again, a move I had expected to love but was starting to figure out wasn't the right one for me.  I was approaching my heaviest weight ever, and bingeing in a completely out of control way.  I was going to the drive-through on my own, I was putting away entire frozen pizzas before going out for dinner with friends.  I was SO completely unhappy with myself and the world I had created for myself.   Obviously there were good things - a super fun roommate, my nephew, etc, but in general, I felt somewhat hopeless.  I hadn't yet begun to consider surgery, and I was starting to wonder if I would EVER lose weight, if I would ever be able to figure it out.

Come March 4th, I was a bandster.  And everything changed.  I started, despite all my past failures, to lose weight.  Not super quick. But consistently - every single week, almost.

Fast forward a year, and I am whole-y and truly happy.  I weigh 70lbs less than I did,  but more importantly than that, I feel incredibly confident.  Yes, maybe not so much naked, and yes, when I feel myself feeling rejected by a guy I immediately think "it's cause I'm too fat." However, I feel amazing about myself. I wear cute designer jeans.  I am BACK IN COLLEGE. I am conquering everything in my life, because if I could surmount this seemingly insurmountable hurdle, then I know I can deal with anything else, no problem.

I am so lucky to have you all, a community of bandster love, who understand what this journey is all about, and are so supportive of me and my drama.  Thank you!!

xox

13 comments:

jennyr1222 said...

I'm so glad you had such a lovely birthday!! Such a great reflection post. I'm so thrilled that you're so happy. You are such a beautiful, amazing lady Angie!!

xoxo

Yana said...

Happy birthday! I hope the next one brings even more amazing changes to your life. I've really enjoyed reading about your experience, and I look forward to seeing what the next year brings!

Kristen said...

Happy Birthday pretty girl! You have definetly overcome a lot this year, and I think it's great to be able to look back and realize that now. I hope your birthday was not only a day celebration, but that you take full advantage of it all weekend long! You deserve it!!

Bandita Senorita said...

I'm glad the b-day turned out so well!!!

Catherine55 said...

Happy birthday!! Your post totally choked me up! You are doing so amazingly on so many levels -- I am sure that this next year and those to come have many wonderful things in store for you!

xoxoxo,

Catherine

The Former Fat Girl said...

Angie, Happy Bday!! and you'reright it truly is a happy beginning to a totally invincible and amazing you !! I look forward to hearing about another year's worth of wonderful acheivements and milestones !!!

Amy W. said...

That was a really great recap. I didnt know you before the band (duh Amy), but I found it interesting that you said you downed whole frozen pizzas before going out to eat. Man I used to that too! Eat fast food on the way home from work...with some irrational fear that I wouldnt be full with the dinner food alone!

The Dash! said...

Crap - this post made me tear up. To hear how much you've changed over the past year was just amazing. Your confidence flows through and you are just a beautiful girl.
I'm so glad your birthday was a hit. I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering if you were having a good time: turns out you did. Yay.
Wonder whats in store for you by your 25th. Exciting times ahead. xx

Roo said...

Happy Birthday Angie. You are a beautiful amazing girl and have achieved so much in the past year, you gotta be proud of yourself...I know I am since following your blog....you are shining!x

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

I totally get how you feel. I will have to do a blog to assess my journey thus far b/c I feel the same way for the most part. Accomplishing this makes me feel invinsible.

Dinnerland said...

Happy Birthday-- it sounds like it has been a wonderful year of changes and growth for you. I hope that you will continue to experience happiness and success. You're in a great place and have a great perspective to look back on the journey you've had AND where you're going.
Cheers,
vanessa

Alexis said...

I know this is late...sorry, I was out of town until this afternoon :( I'm so glad to hear that you had a wonderful birthday! Here's to another amazing year!

Lovely Light said...

Hi- new to reading your posts and enjoy it. I'll be a year on 12/31. You should change the age in your profile. It still says 23!

This is me now... at 160!

This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
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Mini-Goals and Statistics

A Quick Reference - 111lbs down
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!

Mini Goal 1: 240 - re-reached April 29th - 15lbs/9 weeks.
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
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