So as I mentioned earlier, it's that t.o.t.m. for me, and this is often a time where weight my body has been holding on to starts to drop off. I had like no appetite today, and was super busy, and so I just couldn't help but weigh myself just now when I got home from play rehearsals. And the scale read 201.4. HOLY SHIT. I am slow, and for a moment thought I was only .5lbs away, instead of 1.5lbs away from one-derland, which really freaked me out haha. But still, only 1.5 pounds to go until my weight starts with a one. Shouldn't I be excited... Not terrified?

Because I am TOTALLY FREAKED. Like freaked. Like nervous to get on the scale tomorrow morning. It might not be tomorrow, it may not happen for another week or so, but that number is coming, and I just expected something - maybe to feel different? More ready somehow? I sort of feel like I should feel like less of a fat girl by now. I got tons of awesome feedback at the wedding this weekend about how great I look, but looking at the pictures, sure I see some skinny legs, but I still see a fat girl attached to them. I'm not at goal yet, I'm still technically obese still, so maybe I just need to get further to stop seeing that, but maybe I need to try to look at myself with new eyes.

Alright, two essays to write, one dialogue to memorize, and 5 pages of math homework... Enough procrastinating Angie!

xox
a


EDIT: WOKE UP THIS MORNING - 200.4