So close... That I'm kinda freaked out!?

So as I mentioned earlier, it's that t.o.t.m. for me, and this is often a time where weight my body has been holding on to starts to drop off. I had like no appetite today, and was super busy, and so I just couldn't help but weigh myself just now when I got home from play rehearsals. And the scale read 201.4. HOLY SHIT. I am slow, and for a moment thought I was only .5lbs away, instead of 1.5lbs away from one-derland, which really freaked me out haha. But still, only 1.5 pounds to go until my weight starts with a one. Shouldn't I be excited... Not terrified?

Because I am TOTALLY FREAKED. Like freaked. Like nervous to get on the scale tomorrow morning. It might not be tomorrow, it may not happen for another week or so, but that number is coming, and I just expected something - maybe to feel different? More ready somehow? I sort of feel like I should feel like less of a fat girl by now. I got tons of awesome feedback at the wedding this weekend about how great I look, but looking at the pictures, sure I see some skinny legs, but I still see a fat girl attached to them. I'm not at goal yet, I'm still technically obese still, so maybe I just need to get further to stop seeing that, but maybe I need to try to look at myself with new eyes.

Alright, two essays to write, one dialogue to memorize, and 5 pages of math homework... Enough procrastinating Angie!

xox
a


EDIT: WOKE UP THIS MORNING - 200.4

5 comments:

Kathi said...

OMG...go poop! :) That's what Steve would say! You are soooo close. and, it's not even your birthday for another 2+ weeks...you go girl!

Mary said...

THAT IS AWESOME ANGIE! DONT BE FREAKED! I was so freakin excited i couldnt contain myself!!!!! WAY TO GO GIRL!!!! :o)

The Dash! said...

Ohhhh Angie, I am SO EXCITED for you, girl - seriously. This is a huge turning point in that number you are aiming for and you are doing amazingly. Don't be freaked out - just aim for that onederland, AIM!!! xxxx

Brooke said...

Awww Angie, I do understand. I'm nowhere near there but I find sometimes as I go through the "10"'s that each one is a milestone and it's not until I've been there for a while and I am at the bottom (say 242 or 232) that I realize just how monumental the new weight is and how much closer to my goal it takes me.

So I can only imagine what being so close to onederland would be like.

When you get there you'll rock it as always and it will feel great but I can totally and completely understand being freaked out just as you're at the cusp ;-0

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

Ohhhh you will be fine! You will purely ecstatic when you get there!

This is me now... at 160!

This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
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Mini-Goals and Statistics

A Quick Reference - 111lbs down
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!

Mini Goal 1: 240 - re-reached April 29th - 15lbs/9 weeks.
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
Mini Goal 8: 169 - reached March 26, 10lbs/4.5weeks
100 lbs down!!

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