Guilt.
I have been having a good week. I went to visit the college (Champlain College) I am hoping to transfer to for next semester and really liked it, and got positive feedback from my admissions counselor that has me feeling pretty hopeful. I also got a perfect 100% on my latest History test, and that sure does feel great. Know what feels not so great though? GUILT.
Specifically, guilt after eating. One would argue I should feel guilty about the actual bad choices I make - like drinking alcohol, but for some reason that really doesn't bother me at all. But lately I often feel guilty about making perfectly normal food choices. Sure I could be healthier, I could be eating nothing but lean proteins and salads, and maybe I should start, because right now, I find myself feeling quite guilty a lot of the time.
I feel like I have no right to complain that I haven't seen one-derland since Monday, and that I'm floating at 200.2 again because I haven't been perfect this week. What I need to remind myself of however, is that I'm still eating way less than I was before, and that with the portion limitations the band enforces, my calories are still super low!
I wonder if anyone else feels these feelings of guilt and self-doubt when surrounded by so many food choices?
xox
angie
This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
6 comments:
Guilt is a killer for me, too.
I am thinking of getting a tatoo on my forehead: "Guilt only makes you feel guilty... and fat" so I can FINALLY get it through my thick noggin that I am doing the best I can and that's good enough.
You are doing great. Second guessing yourself and your choices and looking for perfection is probably going to lead to a binge. Keep doing what you're doing and banish the guilt.
When I am eating really good (hold on...I am trying to remember what that feels like) I am actually hyper obsessive to the point of being stupid. For example, let say I eat great all day. Small meals, protein, low in calorie...and let's say I take in just 1000 calories...if I were to have one "bad" thing I would be so obsessive about it. Even if the "bad" thing had just 100-200 calories. It's nutty.
In the bigger scheme of things, no one else will notice that .3 lb difference. However, use the bad feeling you have to push you in the right direction. Make it a positive force in your life. And good luck! Remember, me and a lot of other peeps out there would *love* to be where you are right now (Vermont too!) ;)
Ang, you're not perfect honey. None of us are. We don't even get perfect days. All you can do is your best. If you mess up, get up and start over right then, don't wait for tomorrow or the "new week" to get back on track. (Advice I need to work on myself as well!!)
Sorry bout that - the deletion, lol it's late and I'm tired and I made a few typos. Ok try again.
The big thing that jumped out at me here is how you say you haven't been 'perfect.' Well, you and the rest of the world, hon. Perfect is boring. Enjoy your alcohol, and since you're very aware of what it is you're eating - good or bad (and it actually sounds like its way more good) cut yourself a little slack.
This is a weenie blip in the big scheme of things and you will be back down before you know it!! Enjoying life on the way down to your weight loss will just make you that much successful long term
Hugs
Cara
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