Your regularily scheduled blogs shall recommence April 1st. For now know that your beloved blogger is packing up her apartment and moving back to her parents house. And hating it.

Here are all the beads I made in my class last night... Hope you like em!

Not a ton to report today... Went out for brunch with the roommate and realized I'm gonna have to start ordering scrambled eggs instead of over-easy - they aren't so easy to eat without toast to sop up the yolk!  Had about a quarter of a slice of multigrain bread, which I know is fine, but I do find gets me the teensiest bit uncomfy - definitely not stuck, but not the best feeling.  I had 2 of the four pieces of  bacon, about 3 bites of potatoes and I was stuffed... And it took me longer to eat that than my roommie to eat the whole thing.  Even without real restriction, I feel like I've already changed so many habits.

So I feel like I haven't written here in forever, though i think it's been about four days. Things are mostly going well. I had my first salad today which was a nice change, and although I don't feel a lot of restriction anymore, I do find the bit I have does help me stop eating a bit early... It's for some reason really important for me that the scale doesn't go up, and to be honest, my eating has not been perfect lately. I know I need to not criticize myself so much, but I just wish I had a bit more will-power... But then again, if I had will-power I wouldn't have needed this surgery, eh?

However, I do have some good news, haha, I went shopping today! I bought two sun-dresses, one that has a sort of ruched(sp?) boobage area from H&M (size 14) one from Old Navy (XXL... the boobs keep me from going down in sizes if there's no stretch/ruching(again, sp?) I also bought tow pairs of jeans, from Old Navy. I meant to buy both in size 16, but accidentally took home one of them in a 14. I don't really mind, I did feel like the 16 were a touch too big, but the 14 were still too small, so it'll be nice to have them fitting soon. Plus I got shoes. And yes, I'm still unemployed, though I have been babysitting and helping my mom at her office doing autism assessments. Here's a pic of the shoes... I can't find my actual camera so I can't really take pics of the rest of the things... slash I'm lazy.

xox
ange

Hi guys,

SOLID FOOD! Had my two-week post of appointment today. The nurse was really nice, and said I'm doing really well with my weight-loss - and that I should not really expect to keep it up... Which kinda goes in one ear out the other, haha. I know I need to keep my expectations realistic, and I am, but I am kind of thinking - I'm eating a lot less and a lot healthier now than I was before, even now that I'm feeling less restricted and eating more solid foods. We'll see how it goes. I also got the go ahead to work out as much as feels safe, with no heavy weights or abs.


Anyways, I'm no chef or great photographer, but I thought it might be fun to share some of the food I cook, taking pictures with my iphone. This is herbed salmon with spicy peanut sauce. I bought it already herbed and seasoned at the store, so it was really easy, just a bit of olive oil in a pan, sear for 2 mins on each side, pour some sauce from the bottle into the pan and cover for about a minute. It got all steamy and moist and the sauce sorta burned/carmelized in a really yummy way. I thought I might wanna share about half-way through the meal.

xoxo

It is sunny and about 15 degrees here in Toronto today (that's the high 50s for you Americans) and and it is such a nice change! I'm wavering on whether it'll actually happen, but I'm thinking of getting showered and dressed, and driving downtown to our Beach area (on Lake Ontario) and taking a walk down there in the sun.

I've got to say, no matter what, seeing the sun shining is making me feel a bit more hopeful about life.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

xox

Please see the last line. Keep refrigerated. The roommate's gonna love that one!

Today I had an appointment with my family doctor to just go over how everything went with the surgery, and to chat a bit about what support I'd like from him and also to order some new tests.

First he said he had heard from my surgeon and apparently I've got a whopper of a liver, so that, plus the fact that I was starving myself, pretty much puts the liver worries to rest. It's not great, but I'm already losing weight and on the right track, and he is not too worried about me. He said I should do my best not to drink, but ultimately it'd be more about the calories than my liver anyways.

Now we're just focusing on my kidneys and why there's protein showing up in my urine. It's not anything drastically concerning, but he is having me do a 24 hour urine test. I was given this huge orange jug that I have to pee into for 24 hours... I'm gonna take a picture of it (before I start, don't worry) so you can all have a good laugh at my giant pee container. Holy shit I just realized it's probably too big to put in the toilet. They didn't explain the mechanics of this all! Good thing my mom used to be a nurse, hopefully she'll have some advice for me.

I decided that for now I'm seeing him once a month anyways for all my tests and all that, so I'd love to continue to do that and to get weighed there on their super scale. He asked if I wanted to weigh in, and for the first time in my life I was stoked to! I weighed at 111kg which is about 244lbs, clothed. Good enough for me! That's just over 9kgs down since the day before pre-op- about 20 pounds. After that he was just so happy for me. We talked about how that isn't gonna be sustainable and I need to not get upset as it slows down, but I'm ready for that. I just see this as a wicked awesome head-start.

Now I'm off to get a coffee somewhere and enjoy the beautiful (well, relatively beautiful) weather we're having here in Toronto, and to maybe try to find a new green shirt to wear out tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day.

xoxoxox

Thank you for the sweet comments on the blog as well as by e-mail. Ultimately I wanted out of my job, I just had hoped it would be on my own terms. What can ya do, though.

Today was a nice Saturday. Showed the apartment to a few people, then went up to my parents house to weigh myself. Down 2.2 more, I am just so lucky to be continuing to lose. After that I went to get a manicure and my eyebrows done. I really should not be spending the money whilst newly unemployed, but I had made the appointment before I knew, and it was not too expensive.
I got an OPI Colour on my nails called Black Cherry Chutney and I love it... It's a dark purplish colour with tiny red microflecks... It's a cool alternative to simple black. Ah I love manis!

My appetite grows stronger daily - last night I went out with a friend and we ordered some veggie nachos to start (which I ate with a fork - it was essentially veggie chili and guacamole and sour cream and salsa - mmm) though I did have a few chips, chew chew chewed and did just fine. I had ordered a soup for my main but got SO full on the nachos I could barely even touch the soup! Of course I took it home. I ate most of my soup - a smooth tuscan chicken tomato soup with chickpeas, for lunch, it was goood. Then, for dinner tonight, I decided to order from Swiss Chalet, a Canadian rotissierie chicken chain I'm kinda addicted to, which I hadn't had since pre-op. I ordered a chicken soup (which I took the immersion blender to) and an order of mashed potatoes with their special (low cal) sauce/gravy. I am AMAZED by how little I need to feel full - I had about a third of the soup, then again, maybe a third of the potatoes with gravy. And I'm full. Not overly so, but probably a bit more than I need to be. Wow, what a learning experience this all is!

xox


Then today, wo

So I guess I have never even really talked about what I do on here, for work. For a long time I worked in the hospitality industry, specifically working in Spas at fancy fancy hotels, doing front desk, reservations and starting on management. Then in November of this year, my roommate said there was a job opening at her small company, which plans singles events. It was not exactly what I was interested in or had experience with, but I was sick of the job I had and this one had better pay. Fast forward 4 months and sales are abysmal, my boss is convinced we're recession proof... And today, after not working for 10 days because of getting banded... She let's me go. But she doesn't even have the courage to do it herself. She has this guy Robert, who's like been thinking of investing in the business who owns the building our office is in to do it. How embarrassing, and how un-cool... I know she has the right to terminate me, I was in fact planning on leaving anyways because the job doesn't make me happy, and I miss being able to shine at work. But now I'm unemployed, with an apartment that unless we successfully get someone to sublet I'm not going to able to afford... I'm kinda all kinds of fucked. Plus my scar is getting a bit red. blah.

worst. day. ever.

Just wanted to share a... well it's hardly a recipe as this was a super easy meal to make, but share what I made for dinner. I got permission to move on to purees/mushys early, and was SO excited.

I made a casserole by layering a can of refried beans, some salsa (which i blended to de-chunk) and some mashed potatoes, and topping it all with some low-fat shredded cheese. I baked it till the cheese was melty, about half an hour in a 350degree oven.. It would be yummier to brown the crust, but I thought for now it'd be harder to digest. I ate it with some guac and low-fat sour creme and a bit of hot sauce and it was SO good, and really really soft, like softer even than mashed potatoes, and totally delicious. My parents had some and agreed it was good, something I'd totally eat again once I'm on real foods, though I guess it would prob be a "slider food."

Hope someone tries and enjoys it!

xox

I have been progressing well... Called the clinic this am to talk about my eating, and they gave me permission to move on to mushies/purees today instead of Thursday.

It's been great, though I know that I need to watch what I'm eating while I don't have restriction if I want to continue to lose... I know this is a time for healing not losing but I just want to keep it going down, even if it's just a pound a week or something. I ate some super smooth tuna salad that I mixed with mustard to make it more liquidy for lunch, some 90 calorie frozen yogurt at the movie, and then for dinner I made exceptionally good (and bad for you) mashed potatoes with garlic butter, chipotle peppers and melted cheddar and jack crust. The good news is I couldn't eat a ton of it, definitely felt restriction off a small amount for the first time.

Well I'm exhausted - didn't take a nap today and I'm sleepy!

xox

Hey guys,

Wanted to provide a real update now that I'm a bit more clear of head and all that. It has been four days since I got banded and I really feel great. I just... managed to go to the bathroom for the first time, post-op, which I'm sure is TMI but was a big relief for me haha. I'm really feeling good. Gas is still coming out a lot, but my shoulder pain has gone down a significant amount. It's now just kinda sore and annoying as opposed to constant and persistent.

Friday was definitely my hardest day. It started out pretty well - I took a shower and did my hair and makeup so I could go get my passport photos taken and we went in to the passport office. I got a an extra-milky milkshake which I could only really handle a few sips of but tasted really good. I got home and tried to nap but just couldn't fall asleep, and felt super duper restless all day. My neck and shoulders were really sore and I was also really emotional. My sweet sweet mom actually got into my bed with me and lay with me until I fell asleep that night, which was so nice. She also came and woke me at 1am to take my meds so the pain wouldn't wake me up like it had the previous nights. I woke up yesterday feeling a million times better, the full-night's sleep had really helped me, and I felt like a human being for the first time since Wed.

Scales are headed in the right direction... I'm trying not to get too obsessed, but I'm back below 250 (I was during pre-op, but then my weight popped back up 1 day pre-op) at 248.0. This is totally fine by me... My first goal is to be below 240 when we leave for Miami on April 10th, which I feel is totally do-able.

My appetite right now is pretty much nil, but I do notice I have been feeling better as I eat a bit more. I had a yogurt this morning which went down no problem, and am going to go out for lunch with my dad in a bit to this super-Jewish dairy restaurant we love where they have really good split pea soup. I'm excited to have some of that. I'm planning on going to the store and buying some ingredients to make some sort of re fried bean/sour cream/cheese/broth blend which would probably sound gross to anyone not on liquids but sooo appeals to me right now. I've been really lucky in being able to tolerate everything that passes my lips so far, no gagging, no regurgitating or anything which is good. I'm taking regular Tylenol too now which helps, I think the sickly saccharine kids stuff was making me kind of nauseous.

Alright, Dad's ready to go.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!

xox

Doing better every day. My brother and sister-in-law brought my nephew over and we had a great visit.

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated since the day of my surgery, I have been doing pretty well but just am quite low on energy.

Day of surgery was really fine - I was pretty awake for a hours after, took a nap that afternoon and then slept pretty well that night. I did wake up around 5am, but after a quick chat online with Bridget I decided to take some Gravol and try to sleep some more.

Day 2 was pretty good, my shoulders and back are pretty sore, but nothing undealwithable. Energy was still low, took a long afternoon nap. Really enjoyed being able to eat broth and juice and jello, though have hardly any appetite. I was actually ready to crash at like 8:30pm and slept until 3am, when I woke up with some pain in my shoulders and and at my incisions. I took some Gravol and Tylenol and slept again till about 9.

Today I decided I was ready for my first outing, so I took a shower, did my hair and makeup and my mom took me to the passport photo place and passport office to get that all renewed because mine is going to expire on the 14th, while we're on our trip to Florida.

OK so I have a feeling this entry is really boring, haha, so I'm gonna quit it. The good news? Feeling good enough, gas is... coming out, haha, and I've managed to stay off the codeine.

Hope I haven't bored you half to death, I'll update more in a few days...

xox
ange

Just wanted to let you know that I am home and doing really well after being banded this morning. I was pretty much wide awake in recovery and the nurse told me I was her patient of the day.

I am in some but not a ton of pain - took some childrens tylenol but avoiding the codeine at all costs unless I really need it.

Was banded at 9:30, on the road by 12:15 and home around 12:45. Slept till around 3, waking up often to pee, and now I'm working on being awake and walking around and all that.

Pain in stomach is minimal, it's more that my shoulders and back are sore... the Tylenol should kick that though.

Just wanted to say thanks for everyone's support... Everything they were telling me I wanted to be like yeah yeah I know I'm prepared don't worry.

I'll post more later, sorry if this incoherent!

xox
angie

In 24 hours I will be sitting waiting for my turn at the clinic
In 26 hours, I will be a bandster.


WOAH.

So it's not 100% yet, but my blood lab results from Friday's blood test show a marked improvement in my liver function, and my family doctor thinks my bad results had to do with the fact that I was pretty much totally starving myself. I should have known better... It made me realize healthy eating really isn't in my vocabulary, so when I realized I couldn't do the shakes I decided I couldn't eat at all. Did it work? Clearly I scared the shit out of myself and almost had my surgery canceled, and I think I've lost less weight than people who eat through their pre-op diets. Regardless, I'm moving forward, and pending my surgeon seeing my blood tests, I should be fine to go ahead with surgery on Wednesday.

xox