Hey Everyone, and greetings from beaaautiful San Diego, California.

I haven't posted in way too long and I don't even know where to start. First off I'm doing well, according to the scale at the house I'm staying at I'm a 229 which would mean I maintained over the wedding weekend and my first few days out here, which I am completely happy with.

I've gotten some great feedback from everyone lately, which feels SO good. Both from people who know about the band and know I'm trying to people who I would never have thought would consider my weight. One such instance was at my cousin's wedding. One of my friends in VT who I hung out with a lot when I lived there, Danger Dave (don't ask) came to my cousin's wedding as he worked on a bunch of landscaping for the house and they were all invited. We spent the night dancing and drinking and having so much fun. At one point we were sitting on a bench and he was like Ange you look so good. And I thanked him, made a comment about getting my hair and makeup done. And he said no, it's more than that... Is it ok for me to say you've lost a lot of weight? I noticed when we were slow dancing. And although it was kind of awkward, it was also totally sweet.

I have been feeling all sorts of good feelings about this band of mine... Almost good enough to write poetry, but I could never do as well as Amy. I have stolen a bunch of pictures from the night before the wedding (green and white dress) .
the wedding -this is me and my friend/date Mark. Just a friend. I don't look particularily thin in the pic, but you can tell how much fun we're having!
and also took one of me in my new dress I bought here at Target yesterday that I'm totes in love with.
xox

ange

Hey guys!

So I know it's been a long time since I updated. Those on facebook
with me would know I ended up forgetting my laptop at home which I
think was kind of a blessing in disguise. It's been quite nice to have
a break from technology- although I've of course missed ya all. I'm at
the airport in Detroit now waiting for my flight to San Diego. I just
ate some pintos and cheese for breakkie which is all I can tollerate
in terms of softness at this hour but might not make me the ideal
seatmeat. For once I'm hoping I don't have a hottie in the next seat!

I have lots to update you all on- once I'm in San Diego I'll have much
more computer access- and hopefully a scale!

Hope y'all are well!!

ox
Sent from my iPhone

Is a xxl old navy that I got about a month ago, our store still has
some I think. Amy you can have it at the end of the summer!

Sent from Angie Cummings' iPhone

Amy commented on a pic in my lapbandtalk album that it really illustrated my weight loss... i.e. I look way fatter in it! Haha. I don't think she meant that, I do though. I just look so round! I took a pic just now with photo booth to have as 'during.' Why does my face always look so stupid in these photo booth pics? Prob cause I have to press the button and then run away from the computer in 3 seconds. Here ya go!

Tonight my mom and I were going through my closet together, making sure the dress I'm wearing the night before the wedding still fit (a bit looser, but not worth taking in at this point) and then just going through a lot of my dresses. I tried on two that I had ordered from Nordstrom online last summer for a wedding I was going to in Colorado, but neither of them fit when I got them. They were both a size 18. I tried both of them on. The first one was too big! Wehoo! Like it fit alright, I suppose it was probably the correct size, but it just looked ridiculous. Too... Plus-sized if that makes any sense. Too wide a band too big a bust, etc. So that one is up for grabs. Except I really haven't sold it too well have I. If anyone wants, lemme know, I'll take a pic of it. The other one is great. I just hope I have occasion to wear it before it gets too big. It's purple and halter-necked and has sequins under the boobs and at the bottom and is such a pretty party dress - I was so sad when it didn't fit last summer, but now even I see that it really looks great. I was stoked about that, and trying to think about whether I could convince my friends to have a formal going away party for me ;).

The last one was the most exciting for me. It's a jewel-toned purple sheath dress from Banana Republic, pure silk. It came with a stretchy black belt with a gold buckle, and I bought it about 4 months ago... Cause I really wanted the belt. I figured the dress should fit eventually- like by the fall, because really, it's too dark and wintry for summer anyways. Which is too bad cause it looks awesome. I felt like I'd need to be moving to NYC instead of Stowe, because it is just so chic and classy and hot and I looove it. And it's just like... Crazy. Even though I'm still 230lbs my body is leaving behind the world of plus-size clothing in certain instances, which is insane and amazing.

It's kinda hard though too. When I go on Saks or Nordstrom or Neiman's online, there are, at best 4 or 5 pages of dresses, say, to look at. Look at straight sizing and there are hundreds! It's kinda overwhelming, even for a shopaholic like me! Well there is time yet, and there are definitely worse problems to have than too many choices!

xox
ange

xox

Of the amazing concert that revived me and deslumpified me!

Video blog is just compressing, that'll have all my updates and should be posted soon! xx

Hi guys,

So... A bit dramatic on Tuesday, just maybe. Now that I've come over the other side of the hurdle - some crazy PMS and a few completely non-band related things that were stressing me out... oh and the fact that I hit 40 LBS LOST this morning... I'm feeling a lot better.

Yup, you read that right, 40.2 lbs lost. It just decided to come off between Tuesday and today instead of before Tuesday. I can't believe it. I just sort of turned and looked at my naked self in the mirror, haha, and just smiled. Goal met, I guess. Wow.

So now I need to figure out how to not freak the fuck out, excuse my language, every time the scale doesn't reflect what I feel it should. Cause this will happen again. Many times. I need to be patient with knowing that I'm doing the right thing, and the results will eventually come.

And to acknowledge PMS makes me not just crazy, but bloated too.

xox
Angie

Sorry about the complete breakdown post. I'm still half broken, but it's pretty amazing what seeing one of your favourite bands can do for you, what dancing with a best friend in a field of strangers on a warmish city night can do for you.

I will go in this way, and find my own way out... #41 Dave Matthews Band.

And sometimes I don't have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it's so hard
It's so hard.

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard



I'm really struggling this week. I am due to get my period this weekend, but I'm on the pill, so I don't think I can really blame this all on PMS. I just am having the hardest time with everything. I don't get it. I don't know what my block is. I don't know why I don't want to make the right choices, I don't know why I don't want this bad enough. I hate to be such a debbie downer, but I just wanted to share. Sometimes I feel like I only blog when I'm doing well and... Maybe someone else is having a hard time and can relate. I gained this week. I have been fighting to get below 230 since April twenty-somethingth. I can't do it. I don't know why, but I can't.... I can't see how to change how I feel and how to feel stronger.

Wow. I think I need to just go cry in the shower and get my shit together cause I'm going to a concert tonight and would like to appear relatively normal.

xx

So I just stepped back on the scale after... doing something that always makes us lose a bit. 232 even. I clearly can lose 2 more before the wedding... I'm gonna try and make it to 225. Wow. 220s someohow seem so small to me!

Where you just know you did everything right? I think a lot of you do, actually, but I'm really just starting to get there. Yesterday was a day where I did right by my band. I ate three small, healthy meals, and one super healthy snack. I did more than an hour of exercise. And I felt SO good about myself. I have had so much trouble getting past the mid 230s- my weight was hovering between 238 and 235 and just wouldn't go lower. It finally went to 234 when my friends left to go home for Aus and I said buh-bye junk food. But still, it wasn't Tuesday, Tuesday's weigh day and I just really wanted something good.

I stepped on the scale this morning, and was chanting to myself, please 233, please 233... Well guess what... 232.4! Wehoo! I now know that I CAN get to my more reasonably re-assessed goal of under 230 for the wedding. The goal of 220 totally freaked me out, it was TOO BIG and so beyond what I could imagine that I think subconsciously shut down and kinda sabotaged myself. The fact is, without being 100% on every single day, I am losing weight at my reasonable rate. I'd like more of my days to be like the one I had yesterday - I'm planning on re-creating it today. But I also need to be OK with the fact that not every day will be, so to make good use of the good circumstances and choices while I have them.

xox
ange