Losing weight has really made a lot of aspects of my life easier. Exercise. Clothing shopping. Guys. Well... Kind of.
Sure it's easier to meet guys. It's easier to find guys to make out with. Cause all I ever do, of course, is make out. Whether it is because I am much more confident, or just plain more attractive is debatable, is unclear. I think it's a combination of the two, bur regardless there is a marked change. When I'm at the bar, men talk to me. My guy friends consider me as someone to set up with their (idiotic) friends. I am on OKCupid and get at least one message a day that I ignore. I hope this doesn't sound high on myself. I don't mean it to. All I'm saying is attracting men has gotten easier.
But finding one I want to be with long term? Finding a keeper? No easier. In the past month or so I've gone on a bunch of first dates. Enough to make me wonder whether I'm too picky or not ready or what. They've been mostly nice guys, and I could never quite pin-point what was "wrong" with them - just that that intangible it wasn't there. And girls, we need it. I know it's not easy to find, and I know I can't expect it come immediately, but I'm just realizing how hard it is. And how I think that, on a certain level, I expected it to be easy.
Since starting this weight loss journey, I've had one more serious, if convoluted long-distance relationship (HI BEN!), and one more casual one. I don't regret either, and learned important lessons about myself and what I'm looking for. I've met tons of other guys, and I've certainly kissed a lot of frogs.
One thing that has changed is I no longer blame my lack of romantic success of myself or my weight. When I ended things with Matt because he wasn't ready to take what we had to the next level, I didn't feel like it was because I was too fat or not worthy. I knew it was because he's an immature guy and shit happens. That's a major change for me, and one I'll take and celebrate.
I know how young I am, and I know the right thing will come along some day... For now I'll just keep wading my way through the frogs.
Mini-Goals and Statistics
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
100 lbs down!!