So this morning I went to the gym for a personal training session with Julie. A few minutes into our session she asked me who knows about the band. I told her - my mom and dad, one brother, my sister-in-law, and some of my friends. She then told me that she didn't think my cousin Rachel knew. She hadn't spilled the beans, but had something she wanted to tell me- something that might upset me.
Apparently Rachel, along with two of my friends here, have been discussing my weight-loss, and they think I'm bulimic. Julie, who knew better, tried to reassure her that she really didn't think that was the case, that in general bulimics don't lose a lot of weight, etc. But Rachel's noticed that I have to go to the bathroom a lot during meals, and has drawn her own conclusions.
I don't know what to do. Rachel is my cousin and we're very close, but at the same time she has a bigger than big mouth, and I am just not comfortable with the idea of my band getting out, getting passed down a family gossip line, and coming out my drunken grandmother's mouth at a family event. She'd certainly be upset to find out I had kept this from her, but at the same time she'd have to know that her being a gossip isn't news - she told me when another cousin was pregnant way before that cousin was 3 months along, etc.
At the same time... I don't like them thinking I'm making myself sick, and I don't like that people are talking behind my back. I feel like... It's just so not fair. Like... Ugh. I don't even know what to say. I'm upset and frustrated.
So what do I do? Do I tell her and hope she can keep it in, do I keep the secret and try harder not to get stuck? Poop. As if I didn't have enough to worry about...
Mini-Goals and Statistics
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
100 lbs down!!