Stuck in a Moment

Hey Everyone,

Doing significantly better than last night, though still feeling drained and low. I often turn to music when I feel low, or happy, or anything for that matter... Right now these lyrics are providing some clarity for me.

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

It's definitely hard sometimes, but all the comments I got on my last entry really do help - it really makes a difference, knowing I'm not alone in this. I also sometimes need to just not let myself wallow - I am really good at being sad, which sounds like such a depressing thing to say, but it's true. Sometimes I need to get myself unstuck, brush it off, and go on living, knowing eventually my feelings will catch up.

I had a session with my therapist this morning, which was helpful. She raised a couple of interesting questions for me too, such as do I think going off the pill might be affecting my mood - for a lot of women it makes PMS and just plain MS better. Add that to the fact I'm back on Ritalin, which is known to cause anxiety in some people - she wonders if I should go back on the pill or maybe back on an SSRI. I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist, she gave me a bunch of numbers, which will be good, I often try to figure out med stuff on my own, which is never a good idea.

I had a good day today eating and exercise-wise, went to my Phusia class this morning, then had therapy, a quick lunch at this store that isn't Whole Foods but is exactly like it, then class. I had a piece of roast chicken, some green beans, a bit of salad and some melon. I got a bit stuck, but nothing came up. Stress makes me tighter. Then tonight we went to the hotel for my cousin Rachel's son's third birthday. I had tuna tartar to start, which comes on a bed of avocado and then a grilled shrimp caesar salad for my main, but I could only eat like one shrimp and a bit of salad. No regrets eating wise which is good. I hope the scale reflects it, but at the same time, I'll try to be OK if it doesn't.

I'm going home tomorrow night for the Jewish new year, Rosh Hashana. It'll be nice to be in my parents home (can't believe I'm saying that!) again, and amongst loved ones. I'll be away from the scale for a few days too, which should be good.

OK... Time for bed, I am completely exhausted, and still need to pack. Hope everyone's doing well.

xox

OOH PS HAPPY NSV SIDENOTE: I had a bit of time before class today so went into a fancy jeans store out of boredom, and decided to try on some jeans, see how far I was. She was all out of 32s, but there was a pair of Hudsons (which are, btw 288 dollars and SO out of my price range right now!) in a 31 that were really cute... and they totally fit! They looked great in everywhere but the waist - they were just too muffin-toppy, but really nice in the bum and legs... Not so long till I can fit into them, though afford them is a totally different story.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your updates are inspiring and interesting...keep them coming!

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

Glad you're feeling better. I can relate to your struggles and the mind stuff. Music helps bring me back down to center too!

This is me now... at 160!

This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
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Mini-Goals and Statistics

A Quick Reference - 111lbs down
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!

Mini Goal 1: 240 - re-reached April 29th - 15lbs/9 weeks.
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
Mini Goal 8: 169 - reached March 26, 10lbs/4.5weeks
100 lbs down!!

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