I really appreciate everyone's comment. I was so glad to hear I wasn't alone in that awful tragic feeling that comes along. I hate to think that I've been valuing so much of my self-worth on something that fluctuates so arbitrarily, and am trying not to.
I am following people's advice - Robyn suggested tracking my weight everyday using a spreadsheet - if anyone has the Mac software Numbers (our version of excel) there's a built-in weight loss template, who knew!
Amy W's also given me great advice, specifically HAVING A WEIGH-IN DAY. Come on. I know I need to do this. I know it makes sense, I know it'll make me focus more on the big picture... But I so like just lowering my ticker every time it happens. But then I get too caught up in the fluctuations... So I'm making it official. My Monday weight counts. I was all "but that's right after the weekend!" to which she replied "duh pookie, it keeps us accountable." uh. oh.
This week has gone well. Back to exercise, went on my own for the first time in forever last night. I love my classes and personal training sessions so much I don't often have the need or the time to do a solo workout, and they're also never as good or long... But it felt really good to know I was there 100% on my own motivation.
OOh and finally to my Bad-ASS NSV!
So last night at the gym I was doing this excercise my trainer Julie has me do - first you do one push-up (full push-ups here, Julie doesn't believe in "ladies pushups.") Anyways, first 1 push-up, then you do one press - I did these with 12.5lb weights. Then two-push ups, two presses, etc. Normally she has me go all the way to eight... It gets REALLY hard. Well not only was I able to push myself to 10 of each, but Ernie, who is the lead trainer at our gym and for the elite ski kids in town yelled accross the gym "Bad-ass pushups Ange! Boys, you could learn something from this girl!"
I just about DIED I was so happy! I remember my first PT session, only about two months ago when Julie had me do five push-ups I really thought my arms would collapse. Two months later, they're admirable push-ups. And even more - I felt it while I was doing them. I could feel that they were good.
Off to the gym again - lots of love! xox
Mini-Goals and Statistics
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
100 lbs down!!