Who will I be...

I've been thinking a lot lately of how much of my identity is wrapped up in my weight. I try not to let it define me, and I know I'm lucky that I have the... chutzpah (a yiddish word) to go out and wear my bathing suit on the beach, even when I don't love how my body looks in it.

But I wonder how I'll feel, not being the fattest person (or at least girl) in the room. Excuse the pun, but it's a huge part of who I am, the funny fat girl, the loud fat girl, the fat girl who occasionally hooked up with the cute guys - though God forbid those boys actually date me.

It'll be weird to be normal... I bet I'll have a harder time with the change than the world around me.

xoxox

1 comments:

Bridget said...

It is very ingrained in us- being a fat person. And I don't think we will ever think "slim".
I saw myself in the mirror at work the other day. I didn't recognise myself. I was so used to seeing a blob that this new person took me by surprise and I didn't know how to react. I've gone from feeling physically ill looking in a mirror to mentally confused as to how to feel about it.
I wouldn't change it for the world.....

This is me now... at 160!

This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
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Mini-Goals and Statistics

A Quick Reference - 111lbs down
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!

Mini Goal 1: 240 - re-reached April 29th - 15lbs/9 weeks.
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
Mini Goal 8: 169 - reached March 26, 10lbs/4.5weeks
100 lbs down!!

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