We all started our various journey's because we wanted to lose weight. We all had a goal we were striving for, and although we might call it by different names or being seeking it on different levels, the goal, for me at least, is thin. So why, if it's everything I thought I wanted, is it so damn scary as I approach it?
When we're bigger we can blame everything that isn't going our way on the fat. I can't ski because I'm fat. I can't find a boyfriend cause I'm fat. I can't find a job because I'm fat. So what happens when you're suddenly not fat any longer and all those things are still wrong? Losing weight can't fix everything - when you're thin, chances are you might still be a shitty skier, you might have more boys flirt with you but that doesn't mean relationships will be easy. Your career probably won't suddenly change. I don't want to discount what a profound change losing weight has on our confidence, which can change these things.
But losing fat? It doesn't change who we are. Instead of blaming our weights for holding us back and for all the things wrong in our lives, we need to realize a lot of what is holding us back is fear. Somewhere, on some level of consciousness, we realize that it's not the fat that makes all those things bad in our lives, it's just us. When we realize we can't blame the fat anymore, and start fixing the things we want to fix - independent of the fat issue - then we'll finally be allowed to let thin be what it really is. Just thin.
Mini-Goals and Statistics
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
100 lbs down!!