Holy cow, today is my bandiversary. I’m just going to let my fingers do the walking and see where this story takes me, so try to stay with me if I get a little boring!
On March 4th, 2009 I drove to my clinic with my mom so early that she had time to get McDonalds breakfast. I was so glad the day had finally arrived, more than anything glad that pre-op was over and the medical issues I was going through weren’t stopping me from having surgery. I weighed 255lbs that day, down 15lbs from my highest weight of 270 which was recorded at my consultation for lap-band surgery, January 13th.
What a year. I now weigh 90lbs less than I did when I started this journey at my consultation, 75bs less than when I had surgery. For those doing the math, that averages to just under 1.5lbs a week - slow losing IS STILL LOSING. That is probably my biggest piece of advice to remember, and surely advice I need to remind myself of. Even if you lose a small amount, week after week, when you don’t give up, those small numbers turn in to big ones. I had lost more most weeks I was on weight watchers. But I never stayed on a diet before.
I was twenty-three years old when I had this surgery, and at that point was really wondering if I would ever be a normal weight. I had struggled with my weight since puberty, and could not remember a time past the age of seven where food wasn’t a crutch or a treat or a secret or a shame. I saw a nutritionist for the first time when I was seven years old, after all. To think that one year later, I’ve done it. Sure I am not at my ideal weight by my nor my doctor’s standards, I’m so freaking close. I’m close enough that I get to-
Shop at any store
Buy (overpriced) designer jeans from lines like Citizens of Humanity and JBrand
Buy Hunter boots that fit over my calves... OK so there’s clearly a shopping theme here.
I am fit. Or Phit, rather. I work out a minimum of eight hours a week, and I love every moment of it. I love that last night I did 144 push-ups - real perfect push ups. I couldn’t do five when I started seeing Julie in September. I struggle a lot still with loving my body - I struggle to see how different it is and how much closer to ideal than not it is. But after a workout, when my muscles burn and my hair is matted down with sweat, I love my body because it is strong and it is powerful. I didn’t start working out seriously until about six months post-op, for whatever reason it took that long for it to click with me. For those waiting for that moment, it will come, I truly believe that everyone can love exercise if they find the right workout, and in my lucky case, trainer for them.
It is hard to say how much this surgery and losing weight has changed my life. In many ways I have not changed at all, and in others, I am becoming the person who I always hoped I could be. I am accomplishing the thing I knew I never could, and doing that is beyond empowering. I am more settled in myself, I can let my whole self just exist and not worry quite as much as to what I’m projecting.
I am so grateful for the band... And so incredibly grateful to all of you for the support you’ve given me. I could never have come as far as I have without the support I get from my friends online, as well as a select few in my real life and my family. No one without the band can understand what we go through - the highs and the lows, the stucks to the the elation at experiencing a huge NSV. I have come so far in my first year with the band, and am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with it.
Lots and lots of love to you all, I’ll speak to you when I come back from Mexico with lots of pictures to share!
Mini-Goals and Statistics
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
100 lbs down!!