My Own Out-ing

So last week, I came out of the proverbial closet to my cousin R. Some of you might remember, as it got some pretty impassioned comments, that she had been talking to my personal trainer Julie about how she was afraid I was bulimic. We were all pretty pissed, because... Well it's bad enough when you have to get up from the table and pb. It is uncomfy, sometimes it hurts, and it an be embarrassing. Adding the stressor of someone believing you have an eating disorder is really no fun.

But I refused to tell her. I just didn't want to back down, in some weird way. I had made the choice not to tell her - mostly because although I love her, she has a pretty big mouth, and I really didn't want our whole family to know. I still worry that she'll tell. My biggest reason for not telling people pre-band was the pressure I thought it would put on - I don't want people watching what I eat and questioning why I'm losing or not losing.

I was explaining this all to Julie last week, because unfortunately, through the small town grape vine, Julie knew that R was still concerned. I finally just decided to tell her, and blurted it out before we went out for lunch. She was so happy for me, and so relieved. She said she was really worried that I did have an ED and didn't know if she should be telling someone. She worried that I would pass out on her one day, or that I'd get really sick and everyone would wonder why she, the only person who lives in the same place as me hadn't tried to stop it. Regardless, she knows and seems to understand my desire for privacy.

R was the first person I've told the band from whom I've consciously withheld the information before. I was really worried that she'd be mad I hadn't told her earlier, but in the end she was just happy I was telling her now.



Bandita Senorita said...

Well, I'm glad it worked out well in the end.

Athena's Melting said...

Wow...that must have been difficult. Knowing that someone close to you is thinking things like that.. I am the same way as you tho, I don't like anyone to know my personal business. Very few people know. And I really don't know how I would react if someone said I had an ED..! After all the hard work we go thru for this. Well I'm glad it's all good!

Catherine55 said...

That is really interesting. I hope that she will be able to keep your confidence. It makes me think about telling my brother (I hadn't told him because I didn't want his wife to know about it).

I think it's easier to come out to people now that we're closer to goal though. There is something about having such good results that is an extra justification that we made the right decision. You know what I mean? :)

Girl Bandit said...

I think about that story often...even today locked away in the toilet PBing. My kids get so concerned. I think it is great that she cares enough about you to be worried and truly hopes she can keep your confidence. Either way that must be a weight from around your neck

Canadian Bird said...

Hi Angie...

I'm new to the band-blog world & came across your blog. I'm in the insurance phase & am hoping to get my back in late-April. Psych appt this Friday. One more dietician consult & then my preop on Apr. 1st.
I'm still deciding on who to tell & when. Finally mentioned it to my parents just the other day (via phone).

A fellow Canadian living in the US (I'm in TX), just curious what brought you south. And, what is pb-ing? I have a lot to learn, eh?!

I'm just starting up my own blog. Hope you'll check it out: Band on the Run


Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

Way to go that that went well. Hopefully that will take a load off your shoulders and you can communicate her with it freely now!

This is me now... at 160!

This is me now... at 160!
with my bestest friend!
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Mini-Goals and Statistics

A Quick Reference - 111lbs down
Height: 5'8
Highest Weight; January 2009: 270
Surgery Weigh; March 4th: 255
Tummy Tuck December 15, 2010!
Current Weight: 150s
Current BMI: healthy!

Mini Goal 1: 240 - re-reached April 29th - 15lbs/9 weeks.
Mini Goal 2: 230 - reached June 12th. - 10lbs/6 weeks.
Mini Goal 3: 220 - reached July 18th. - 10lbs/5 weeks.
Mini Goal 4: 210 - reached September 2nd. 10lbs/7 weeks.
Mini Goal 5: 199 - reached October 19, 10lbs/11 weeks
Mini Goal 6: 189 - reached December 18, 10lbs/9 weeks
Mini Goal 7: 179 - reached February 23, 10lbs/9.5weeks
Mini Goal 8: 169 - reached March 26, 10lbs/4.5weeks
100 lbs down!!

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